HA! Yeah never though it would be me but here I am.
I just want to start off by saying that I have solid friends and by solid, I mean solid. When I first told them I was pregnant I had all of their support 210% and that gave me so much comfort. As my pregnancy went on things were fine because I was still able to move around with them, I even went to the club with my best friend when I was pregnant. They were always so good at asking me if I needed anything and I could share all of the bad and good things about pregnancy, they’d always listen. I remember when they helped me throw my baby shower and they stuck around for every single thing, I appreciate them never counting me out just because I was pregnant. My best friend and I work in the same building and I remember her always bringing me ice-cream, food, and whatever it was that I needed or just wanted, my supervisor never went a day without telling me how lucky I was to have her – she spoiled me! When I went through the really tough times they were there to listen to all of my problems and emotions. I probably caused them a lot of stress because I was so damn stressed out at times, it was almost like the problems were never ending but they never made me feel bad for talking about the same things over and over again. The day I first checked myself into the hospital thinking I was going into labor I called Dejhaunna right away to let her know, not knowing it was going to be a two day process to get my baby out. My two friends came to the hospital as the other one was still living in Chicago at the time, but they kept me company alongside my family. Day 2 of having contractions like CRAZY, at this point I have a really bad fever and I’m shaking because I was sick and super cold; my midwife came in the room and told me that I had to get an emergency c-section because I had a bad fever and my baby’s heart rate was dropping – I instantly started to cry along with everybody else in the room with me. It was such an emotional moment for me because that was the last thing I wanted to do but it was no longer in my hands, the first thing we did was pray, we had to pray over this major surgery and that I make it out healthy along with a healthy baby girl. After my surgery my family had to go home because they needed to shower and do other things but my friends stayed, they even went to go get me chips and Mountain Dew right after my surgery. HAHA!
Once I brought Avianna home I knew right then and there that my life was going to change forever and I have to be ready for it but how can you prepare for something like that? Well you can’t, I just had to take it day by day and hope that I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got postpartum depression REALLY bad because I had the hardest time accepting that my life was going to be different. It sucked so badly to see my friends out traveling, partying, etc without me and I couldn’t shake that feeling for nothing – at one point I even unfollowed them on Snapchat because I didn’t want to see it anymore. I ended up getting so caught up in my thoughts that I started to push them away but that didn’t keep them away. I eventually had to accept my life and I also had to accept that my friends are young, they are single, and they don’t have kids so there will be that disconnect there but that doesn’t mean that we can’t
remain the same. As much as it took for me to adjust I’m sure it was just as hard for them and I didn’t realize that at first, as my mind was so negative I didn’t even realize how good they were being to me. It’s not easy being that pregnant friend but it’s not like my life is bad, it’s just a little different and I’ve learned that it’s okay. My baby girl is 5 months and sometimes it’s still hard for me to see them out having fun without me but it doesn’t effect me because they deserve to live their life to the fullest and I also understand which makes it easier on me.
To Dejhaunna, Elise, and Rachel . . .
Avianna is so lucky to have you guys and I can’t wait for her to know that herself, she’s surrounded by so much love. Day in and day out you guys are always here for me no matter what and I can’t thank you all enough. You guys make being a mom and that pregnant friend so much easier because like I stated earlier, you guys don’t count me out. You guys are so special to me and I can’t wait to see what this next year will bring us, regardless of what comes our way I know that we will remain the same as always. I love you guys forever!!!!