Things I realized and had to accept…

  • God is in total control of my life
  • No matter what I do, I do not have the ability to change people
  • I am now having a child by a man that I don’t even get along with or love (this is permanent!!)
  • This is my reality
  • I did a very ungodly thing and this is dysfunctional situation is my consequence
  • Even though I’m pregnant, I’m still a human being and I still deserve the good things in life
  • I can’t stress
  • HAPPINESS IS STILL IMPORTANT
  • I’m going to have a little baby that’s going to look up to me for everything
  • My friends and family are all I need to get me through this tough time
  • I can’t stop praying
  • I have to change my act around to be the best role model for my child
  • I’m not alone in this

I had to realize that even though my situation was messed up and just not ideal at all I still deserve happiness and love. I wasn’t going to settle with someone just because I had a child with him. I think that’s where a lot of people tend to get stuck, they feel as if they’re obligated to just settle but no… I wasn’t going to put myself through that and God kept telling me to go the other way.

One important thing that I’ve realized is that NO MATTER WHAT the other person is doing, regardless if he is there 2% or 100% I will ALWAYS have to be there for my child 210%. I also had to realize and accept that it’s always going to be ME and nobody else at the end of each day. When it’s all said and done, everything will always fall back on me when it comes to my child.

“Sometimes the harm is temporary, as in a bad breakup that’s painful for  few weeks but survivable. Other times the damage is permanent, such as when quick decisions results in disease, depression, or an unplanned pregnancy that changes the course of your life forever.”

I was living that carefree life thinking nothing this crazy and damaging would happen to me. My baby is now 4 months and I still go through it and it all could’ve waited honestly and truly – not that I regret anything but now I am tied to someone that I don’t trust, don’t care for, and barely get along with.

Everything happens for a reason and this is God’s plan for me – I trust it 110%. Keeping the faith.

Peace and Love,

T.

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