my life now….

I can’t really find one word to describe how my life is right now but it’s definitely busy and constant. I’m either at work, tending to school, or with my baby girl – you can only imagine what goes through my head all day and I actually say “my life is in shambles” at least 10x a day. HA! I have a lot on my plate and often times I start my day not really knowing how I am going to make it through. Some days I feel like I can take on the world and other days I feel like I have the whole entire world on my back and I question what I am doing. Just like everybody else I get drained and exhausted, sometimes life really does take a toll on me and I start to lose my faith, I also sometimes forget WHY I’m doing what I am doing. I feel as if so many people struggle with trying to figure out their “WHY” and also their purpose in life and that was actually me a year ago before I had my daughter but when I say she changed everything she truly did. 

My life now is busy but it’s better than it’s ever been and I can genuinely say that. God blessed me with something that not everybody has, this type of love that I can’t even begin to explain. It warms my heart everyday to know that I was worthy enough to be Avianna’s mommy. My days with her are sometimes hard and some are very easy going, once I feel like I mastered something another thing comes up that I have to some how figure out. I realized that it’s going to be trial and error because certain things work and sometimes you have to try many things to see what really works which can be frustrating.

Trying to find a balance…… 

It’s so hard to try and find that balance between being a mother, a student, a full time employee, and also trying to find some time for myself. I find myself wishing days were longer so I can fit everything in but it doesn’t always happen like that, well it never happens like that actually. I had to just accept that I am not always going to have time for everything and that’s okay, some days I fall short but overall I always manage to get the job done. I don’t think there really is a balance, I think you just do what you’re supposed to do and everything will turn out fine but just like everything in life things will get difficult and you will get frustrated but in time I’ve learned how to deal with those down times much better.

My life now is honestly great, it’s also very tough but overall so rewarding. When I look at my daughter I can’t help but get emotional because I DID THAT, I survived the 9 months of pregnancy, I survived that c section and recovery, and I am doing everything necessary to make sure she has a great life and also paving the way for my little girl… setting that example. 

I decided to share some pictures (from my pregnancy to now) 

There’s truly beauty in every struggle…. 

with love,

T. 

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